You weren't part of my plan, but you made your presence in my plan. You took over my life and made a mess out of it. You took control over the past three years  but you never stayed. I never let you stayed. You were the colours the fun the joy that never meant to be mine, forever. You made me lost in my tracks, fumbled at my choices, coward into my shelters. I'm too afraid that if I took you up again, would I fall into despair into self doubt into uncertainties. It was too much for me to gamble on. It was too much to sacrifice. But some where deep down, there's a place for you. If only I have the courage, if only I have the dream. But you were all in all, the passion hidden in me.